


We’re Just Strangers

by queerest_avenger



Category: Shawn Mendes (Musician)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Self-Blame, Swearing, making-up, mention of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:36:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27487402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerest_avenger/pseuds/queerest_avenger
Summary: This is a sequel to Comfort Crowd.
Relationships: Shawn Mendes/Female Reader
Kudos: 1





	We’re Just Strangers

It had been a year since the breakup. You’d been going to therapy since that night you left with yet another stranger that ended up in your bed. It took you awhile to realise that you needed help, but you finally did and you were felling slightly better. You thought it was kinda pathetic that all this happend over a guy. But, it was your fault things had ended. You could’ve just brought up your insecurities to Shawn and discussed it like an adult. He would’ve been understanding. He always was, and that’s what you loved about him. You had stayed in Toronto like you planned and had graduated a few months back and started up your own business. You were a freelance artist. Things were looking up. Or so you thought. You would have days where you’d think about Shawn. You tried your best, but that was when you were at your happiest. You were so good together. Why’d you have to go and fuck it up?! 

Today was definitely one of those days. All you could think about was him as you sat in front of your laptop working on a commission you’d gotten from a client. You shifted, running your fingers through your hair. You couldn’t concentrate. You pulled out your phone, unlocking it and tapping on the ‘photos’ icon. You scrolled through hundreds of pictures until you went through your videos. You stopped on one that you’d recorded of Shawn singing Sex On Fire at the top of his lungs, off key while he drove. He usually sang bad on purpose because he knew it made you laugh. You didn’t know you had been crying when you saw that a tear drop landed on the screen. You wiped your eyes on the sleeve of your hoodie as you sniffled. “I’m sorry, Shawn.” You wishpered, running your fingers over the screen. 

After you broke up, all you wanted was to talk with him. You missed his voice. You missed him. But, you stopped yourself. What would you possibly say that would make him understand? That would rationalise what you did. That you were scared of not being enough for him. Was that even a justifiable reason to end things? A part you knew it wasn’t and the other wanted him to forgive you. To work things out. But, did you deserve it? All you wanted was to make him happy and you couldn’t even get past your own insecurities. You found yourself asking yourself these questions over and over. You never tried contacting Shawn after that. No matter how bad you wanted to. It hurt you to go a day without seeing his name come up on your phone. To wake up next him. To hear him talk so passionately about a new song that he was working on. Sharing all these parts of him with you. And you didn’t deserve to. 

You went to town for your weekly grocery run. You’d usually have them delivered and that’s something you had gotten used to working from home. Dealing with multiple commissions, you didn’t the energy to walk around and pick out food. But, you’d been so swamped lately, you thought it’d be good for your mental health. You definitely hadn’t expected to run into him of all. You didn’t recognise him at first as you walked down the aisle looking for cooking oil. You noticed out of the corner of your eye a very tall man with dark curls past his ears, some of them pulled back into a bun. You couldn’t see his face because it was obscured by a face mask with designs on it, but from the look of him you thought he was attractive. You berated yourself. 

How can you find this complete stranger attractive?! You can’t even see his face! Maybe it was his hands that were adorned with rings or the eerily similar tattoos, but it didn’t click until he noticed you staring. You tried to play off that you weren’t gawking just mintutes ago. You could feel his eyes on you, so you scanned the shelves pretending that you were definitely looking for something. “(Y/N)?” The man called out, moving closer to you. You started to panick as you realise this man knew your name. “(Y/N)? It’s me, Shawn.” You calmed yourself a little as you looked up at him. You looked him up and down until your eyes met his again. Yep. It was definitely him. “Hey, Shawn. It’s been awhile.” You cringed to yourself. You wish the ground would just open up and swallow you whole. Why here?! Why now?! You were definitely not prepared to see him as much as you wanted. Whatever scenario you made up in your head seemed so much easier than this. Your heart was racing. You felt off. It felt like forever when he finally responded. “Yeah, it has.” He rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at the floor. “H-how’ve you been?” You asked, hoping to break the awkward tension. “Good. I’ve been good. Been in the studio a lot. Working on a new album. It’s something that I’ve always wanted to write.” 

He looked back up at you, searching your eyes. You sighed, what you guessed was relief upon hearing that he was happy, or at least seemed like it. You smiled behind your mask, “That’s really good to hear, hun. I’m glad you’ve been able to write. Especially, with everything going on.” “Yeah, it’s definitely been stressful.”, He cleared his thirst, “Look I’ve got to get going. But, maybe I could come by and catch up?” You swallowed hard. You weren’t expecting him to want to see you ever. And he wanted to catch up. “You want to come by? You parroted, not believing a word you were hearing. “Yeah. Are you still living with Tara?” “Uh, no. I moved out after I graduated. Was able to get myself a place. But, I can text you the address?” You closed your eyes, realising your mistake. You had kept his number after all this time. Shawn didn’t comment, but agreed, saying he’d see you around before he left. You couldn’t believe Shawn wanted to catch up. What was there to say anyway? You weren’t friends. You didn’t think he’d want to keep it amicable after you’d hurt him. After what felt like hours you finally made your way to the checkout lane with your cart full, wishing you could get home as soon as possible. 

You hadn’t texted Shawn the address until a few days after you’d run into him at the store. He’d responded a few minutes later asking if he could stop by later that evening. You assumed he was here, visiting his parents. You tried tidying up the small apartment the best you could for when he came over. Since you started working from home, it had just been you and you were obviously doing a poor job of looking after yourself; your seasonal depression had kicked in and it hadn’t shown you any mercy. You changed into your college hoodie and a pair of leggings, hoping you looked somewhat presentable. You placed yourself on your couch and scrolled through your feed as you waited on him. It was almost seven when you heard knocking at your door, breaking your conversation from a video a friend sent you. You sat your phone down beside you and walked to the door. You opened it to reveal Shawn standing there in a coat, fitted skinny jeans, and boots. He removed his mask as he smiled down at you. “Can I come in? It’s really cold.” He laughed awkwardly. “Oh, yeah. Sorry!” You apologised and moved away from the doorway to let him in.

He took his coat off and draped over the back of the loveseat and sat were you previously had been. You sat down beside him wordlessly, waiting for him to say anything, but he didn’t. He sat there, running his hands together as he looked at the floor. You wanted to reach out and touch, but you held back. You thought seeing him after all these years wouldn’t be painful, but it still hurt. “Shawn? Why’re you here? I don’t understand why you’d want to see me after what I did.” Your brows furrowed, searching his face. He sighed heavily, and turned to look at you. “Honestly, (Y/N/N), I didn’t think I would want to either after the way you ended things. I kept wondering to myself what I had done wrong and I couldn’t think of anything. I thought I had moved on, (Y/N). But, I miss you. So much. I still do.” You reached out and placed your hand on his larger one. He was hesitant at first until he moved his fingers apart and allowed you to slot yours between them. He squeezed them gently. It took a minute for you to find your voice, but when you did, it cracked as you tried to hold back tears. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Shawn. I promise. I thought if we just ended things, it’d be better for you. That night when we fought, I was trying to think of reasons for you to leave me because I thought you deserved better. Someone who could handle everything. Including you being gone all the time. I should’ve tried to fix this. I should’ve been honest about how I felt. Maybe, things would be different. I loved you, I still do. That should’ve been enough. We could’ve figured it out together. I’m so sorry, I didn’t try, bambi.” You pulled your hand away to wipe your face with the back of your sleeve. Shawn hadn’t heard you call him that in so long. He really had missed it. He moved closer to you, moving your arm away from your face. He took your face into your hands and wiped the tears from your cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. “I’m willing to try again. I want to try again. With you. I love you.”  
You didn’t understand why he was forgiving you so easily. It’s like Shawn knew the inner turmoil going through your head and rub at the crease between your brow. “I-I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I didn’t even try to make amends. You should be with someone who-“ Shawn interrupted you with a laugh. “I think that should be up to me, honey.” He pressed his forehead against yours. He closed his eyes, breathing through his nose. “I forgive you, (Y/N). I had forgiven you after sometime. I just didn’t think I’d be able to tell you how I still felt.” You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck. “ I’ll try being honest if I ever start thinking like that again. I don’t ever want to hurt you again, love.” Shawn pulled you close against him, wrapping his arms around your waist. “I love you too, (Y/N/N)” he professed as he kissed you.


End file.
